I'm having amnesia and deja vu at the same time. I think I've forgotten this before.

This quote made me laugh. Can I be a "philosopher"?

I don't know why we are here, but I'm pretty sure that it is not in order
to enjoy ourselves. -Ludwig Wittgenstein, philosopher (1889-1951)

Great conclusion, Ludwig! :P

PHONE REPAIR

 A Kansas farm wife called the local phone company to report her telephone
 failed to ring when her friends called - and that on the few occasions,
 when it did ring, her dog always moaned right before the phone rang.

 The telephone repairman proceeded to the scene, curious to see this
 psychic dog or senile lady. He climb ed a telephone pole, hooked in his
 test set, and dialed the subscriber's house.

 The phone didn't ringright away, but then the dog moaned and the telephone
 began to ring.

 Climbing down from the pole, the telephone repairman found:

 1. The dog was tied to the telephone system's ground wire with a steel
 chain and collar.

 2. The wire connection to the ground rod was loose.

 3. The dog was receiving 90 volts of signaling current when the number was
 called.

 4. After a couple of jolts, the dog would start moaning and then urinate.

 5. The wet ground would complete the circuit, thus causing the phone to
 ring.

 Which demonstrates that some problems CAN be fixed by pissing and moaning.

I keep stealing Tom's QotD!

Name three words or phrases you wish you'd coined:

1. Craptastic/and or/ craptacular. As in "How's your workday going?"

2. Cubic Assload. As in, a whole lot. I learned this one from David Bobavey!!!

3. Ok Fine Used Trucks. Learned from crankypants. It's a sign at a business and also a great sarcastic snotty retort to someone who knows it all.

One phrase I DID just coin this weekend: "I'll meet you at Cork St. and Sprinkle Rd."

Which means, "Don't hold your breath, I won't be there."   On my way to Chicago last weekend I passed the exit for Cork St. and Sprinkle Rd, and thought, "I just have to find a way to use that."

Have you ever been in a situation where it was inappropriate to laugh, but you couldn't help yourself?

I was seated on a jury for a man who was in an auto accident. He was rear ended by another man who looked down at a map on his car seat and didn't look up in time. Our guy was in a neck brace and was suing the driver's company for 2 million dollars. His lawyer went on and on and on for hours about this guy's entire medical history. I mean, every doctor's appointment the dude had ever been to, up to 15 years BEFORE the car accident.
I was on the jury with a couple of automotive engineers, so you can imagine the senses of humor to begin with.
We were drawing Energizer Bunnies on our notepads and just being silly about this lawyer's longwindedness.

The breaking point was..after two days, several straight hours of listening to this guy's blahbedy blahbedy, he begins talking about a Dr.'s appointment that the plaintiff had scheduled because he was suffering from "painful gas".

Oh. No.

We were on a jury. We were acting serious, dignified, concentrated on getting to the justice of the entire matter. "Painful gas". I could feel the guy next to me....his chair was shaking with laughter. I could not...could NOT laugh in a courtroom. I bit the inside of my cheeks until they bled.

I didn't laugh, but I know darn well we didn't fool anybody.

After the trial was over, and the plaintiff was awarded only what the insurance company would pay (a private detective had caught him, on camera, carrying a 40 pound car jack with one hand while still wearing the neck brace), the serious, dignified, stern judge burst into our jury room, whipped off his robes to reveal a Three Stooges neck tie, and announced "I won a pizza! I bet the bailiff that you wouldn't give the guy over 250,000!".

Hee. Good times.

After work I take off to my sister's. She lives west of Chicago and we are celebrating Joanna's 2nd birthday on Saturday! What a cutie! We got her an MSU teeshirt, some crazy mismatched sox. A Very Hungry Caterpillar card game, and a little board book about ladybugs. I'm having more fun with it than she ever will! ;P

Squeeeee! The head is a finger puppet that peeks out of every page! Joanna has already made it abundantly clear that she is a big ladybug fan!

So. Have a great, grand weekend, y'all. We are supposed to get lots of rain which is great for the new strawberry plants I just put in! w00t!

 

If the sight of the blue skies fills you with joy, if a blade of grass springing up in the fields has power to move you, if the simple things of nature have a message that you understand, rejoice, for your soul is alive.
     - Eleonora Duse

Healy Pass in Killarney National Park,County Kerry,  Ireland, in May 2005. 

Our hearts and minds and spirits are with you and your wonderful family, sweetie. I am so so sorry.

Your mom's soul is set free.  Many hugs.

1. My extended family is weird weird weird. In fact, very few of them would I bother to associate with if I weren't required to. Foo.

2. I love birds. All kinds. Vultures. Ravens. And all the pretty ones, too.

3. I go through phases. Hermit, friendly, hermit, friendly.
Unfortunately, I just had a decade of being friendly, and made some friends and now I want to go hermit, and it's MUCH more difficult. Don't laugh, I am serious. Having friends is too much work.

4. I have a weird part time sort of brain. I guess ADD would describe it. I work in the lab part time, but pick up days so that I am full time. So I do everything at home sorta part time too....half assed housework. Half assed friendship-keeping-up-with....half assed family keeping up with, half assed at hobbies, and half assed at exercise.  The only things I do whole heartedly are taking care of my kids (when they were younger...they're on their own now!) and taking care of my animals and working my ass off when I AM at work.

5. Everytime I see Carolyn Scott and her dog Rookie do that Freestyle Dog Dancing routine on youtube I burst into tears.

6. I burst into tears everytime I see the video (and I did it the first time it happened, too) of Secretariat winning the Belmont by 31 lengths.

7. I hardly ever cry except at above stated times.

8. Oh....one other thing I do whole heartedly. READ. I am in a phase of devouring books. One after the other. Read read read read read. God, I love it!!!

Hay lo.
My internet is sucking!!!  Since our wireless tower blew down I have been on a cellphone-type internet. It's through Verizon. It seemed fine for about 2 weeks. Now, the last week it has been very difficult to connect.

For example...it will connect to Google, but not to Vox. To Weatherbug, but not to my Outlook Express.

SO....do I continue with this cellphone internet with Verizon??? Or try cellphone internet with ATT??? I imagine they would be ONE AND THE SAME.

We could try DirectTV Satellite..but I have heard that isn't that great, either.

Poop. I love living "rural"...but, I loved it more with all the comforts of fast internet.

So....until I get this together...I haven't abandoned yous. I'm still trying to find my way.

Take care....ALL of you.

Love from me.

I got home from work yesterday and collapsed into bed for a quick nap. Dear little Shel, who loves to nap with a warm body, army crawled down under the covers to the bottom of the bed. I sleep on my stomach, so Shel curled around my feet and snuggled his velvety soft floppy muzzle leeps right into the supersensitive arch of my foot.

I never would have thought I was a foot fetishist before...but all I could think at the time was ....

SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!